Kubla Khan and the Ultimate Sacrifice


Kubla Khan had had a great day. He got to follow Grandpa Rodger around and eat all the food he dropped on the floor. He discovered the existence of chickens, and barked at them a lot. He got to go to a bonfire in the woods, and spent the evening running through the snow and eating deer poop.
By the time they got home, Kubla was very tired. He was so tired he laid down as soon as he got inside, and didn’t even get up when everyone went to bed. Now, this tells you how tired Kubla really was, because he ALWAYS went to bed with Liz and Josh. But on this night he was just too tired to move.
But at about 2 in the morning, he heard something outside. A Very Threatening Car drove by outside. It didn’t matter that the car was gone in seconds, it needed to be barked at. Kubla’s vigilance woke up Liz, who came downstairs to see what was going on. She told Kubla to come back upstairs with her, and Kubla began to follow.
But as he came through the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks. He simply couldn’t go on. There, in the hallway, leaning against the trash can, was his ultimate nemesis. The Super Scary Yellow Broom. It didn’t matter that this wasn’t the Very Scary Red Plastic Broom, Kubla knew that all brooms were in cahoots with each other, and they they had mysterious ways of communicating with each other. This broom in Duluth must have talked to the evil broom in Minneapolis. This broom would be poised to attack. It would be folly to try to pass.
Kubla backed out of the kitchen and hid in the dining room. Liz thought she would be helpful and move the broom, but Kubla saw what was really going on. The broom used its evil magic powers to attach itself to Liz’s hand, and to float across the kitchen in a very menacing way. Liz thought she was putting the broom out of the way, but really just gave it a better vantage point for watching Kubla.
Kubla circled around through the living room, but came to a stop again. For the first time, he noticed the air vent at the bottom of the stairs. As Kubla knew that air vents are also evil, he assumed this one was in league with the Super Scary Yellow Broom. The Super Scary Yellow Broom that was just sitting there in the kitchen, watching him. Liz coaxed, and pleaded, and pushed, but Kubla would not be moved.
Liz was tired and it was late, so she decided to go back to bed. Kubla could come up to bed or not, it was his choice.
Kubla watched Liz disappear with sad eyes. She had abandoned him to face his demons alone. And so Kubla made a big decision. One challenge might be overcome, but facing two enemies at once was too much to bear. He would, for the first time in his life, choose not to sleep with Josh and Liz. He would sleep all alone. He was not brave enough to fight the evil that faced him, but he was brave enough to sleep alone. He settled down by the door where he could keep a sleepy eye on the Super Scary Yellow Broom and the Evil Air Vent of Duluth, and eventually fell asleep.
In the morning, Josh came down and released Kubla from his vigil. He had survived the night all by himself. He had been a very brave dog. He laid down at Josh’s feet and fell into a peaceful sleep, finally able to dream about chasing chickens through the woods.

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